Well heres the story
as complicated as this is
my Brother has decided he wants to emigrate to the US. I found out when he and my father came to help me move that he recently came out as a gay man.
My father took this really hard as we are his only two sons. My mom died years back and he is really worried that he will have no grandsons.
that is a big deal to him. He also thinks that my choice to be openly gay has encouraged by little brother to make poor choices and to surrender to haram. in short... he blames me for my brother.
so....
My brother is here for three months. After that his money and visa run out. I don't think he has the ability to get beyond the legal and financial barriers, but i will do my best to help him if i can.
now i have a really hard task of helping him not only adjust to life in a different nation, but also helping him with adjusting to living an openly gay life.I am honestly really intimidated by the responsibility.
I thought about whether or not to post about this, but i have never really shied away from being honest with you guys, so i guess i just had to say this outloud.
there is no real advice that anyone can give. I know he and I both need to find our way. I just hope he doesnt get hurt by the harsh cold gay world of america.
it worries me
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7 comments:
We're not that cold & harsh... and besides you live in a great part of the country. You'll both do just fine.
Now that your father has somewhat aliented both of you, you are very much in a similar position, and therefore have to stick together. The bond that siblings have are so strong, that no matter how distant you might have been in the past, with this new revelation, and newly formed friendship, you two will be okay, and together, happy. Hope all works out.
Don't stress about it too much. We both know that you have enough on your plate to worry over. He's an adult now and you can only do so much. You both know that I will always be there for you, nothing in the past or future will change that. HUGS!!!
we are reaching an equilibrium, i think.
and he is watching alot of tv
ALOT...LOL
just as well... he is learning english really fast that way. Tomorrow i am going to take him to harvard square to hang out with the international students while im at work. I hope he fares well on his fisrt expedition on his own.
Im sure that I'll have a few stories to tell about it.
Drew, how are you and your brother alike?
Does your father know and believe you didn't know about his homosexuality before now?
How does anyone school a younger sibling in anything of sexuality?
If you are only referring to mentoring him in America, then that is another matter, and you are more than qualified. If about gay, then who IS an authority?
Jason
hmm.. lots of questions...
I think that my father knows I didnt know, but that is irrelevant in his mind. He knows that my brother knew that I was gay, and he thinks that I made a poor example for him.
I can't school him on how to have sex, but i can school him on how to not contract HIV and how to not get bashed by Homophobes. I can also teach him that many people in the gay community are confused and want only sex. Not that that is a bad thing, but he needs to know that if that is the road he chooses with a man, then he can't give his heart freely or he will be broken hearted for the rest of his life.
And then yes... being a muslim in america today is difficult. He needs to learn how to be discreet or risk his very life when he ventures into certain areas and cities.
it is a daunting task.
and we are quite alike. He is much more inquisitive than I am. We look very similar, but his eyes and skina re lighter. he seems more greek and less persian than me, but our features and body structures are nearly identical.
well since you keep mentioning the persian connection at least it's safer here than there.
i dated a guy whose brother was also gay and their parents took it a bit hard but came around after a bit. The thing I noticed is that they were not that similar in habits. don't expect yoru vbrother to act like you, and treat him like an adult, that means letting him be responsible for his own actions. That doesn't mean not helping out, it means that you let his fingers hurt if he gets caught in a trap. Your best hope is to live by example, preaching will just make him mad.
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